Do you know what your child is thinking? What about what is in their soul that is always flowing? Two years ago my then 18 year old daughter was always busy doing this and that, but I always knew where she was. She had excellent grades and many friends. She also worked part time. Did I know what was on her mind and flowing through her soul? I thought I did, but I learned the hard way that I did not know her at all. I had noticed some slight depression and moodiness but nothing more.
One night in January my husband and I were in bed when my daughter came in and said her legs felt numb and she was slurring her words. I took her to the living room and did her blood pressure, which was dropping fast, and she lay back on the couch and I lifted her up and asked her if she was on any drug. She said no, but that she took a full bottle of her migraine medicine, and she began to cry and said she wanted to die. My husband put her in my car and he stayed behind for our smaller children. She kept wanting to sleep and I did everything possible to keep her awake while crying. How could this be happening, where did I go wrong? Once at the hospital I told them that she overdosed and they took her to a room and I ran with them. My daughter was out cold now and her breathing had slowed down. Next thing I knew the heart monitor was going off with a flat line, I was then rushed out of the room. I never felt so alone and lost not to mention scared out of my mind. After about 20 minutes I could her my daughter screaming. She was alive! She kept screaming let me die damn you and she gave the doctors a difficult time. When I finally got to go back to my daughter she was strapped to the bed with a hose in her nose and she was crying. I sat down next to her and she said she hated me for not letting her die. I leaned down towards her and told her that some day she would thank me and that I was not sorry. I told her I loved her and kissed her forehead. I stayed by her side until she was released from the hospital. The doctors told me that I came very close to losing her.
Once home my daughter avoided me for the longest time, but one day she came home from school and just wept in my arms and thanked me. My daughter did not have many symptoms to warn me of her suicide attack. There are many symptoms to keep an eye out for and many places on the net to turn to for help. Don't let yourself or your child go through what my daughter and I did. Stay in tuned to your children and don't just be a mother but a friend as well.
32,000 people commit suicide each year. Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death for the ages of 15-24 and the 6th leading cause of 5 to 14 year olds.
Finding little or no pleasure in life
Feeling worthless or extremely guilty
Crying a lot for no particular reason
Withdrawing from other people
Severe anxiety, panics, or fears
Having big mood swings
Changes in eating or sleeping
Having very low energy
Losing interest in hobbies and pleasurable activities
Unusual neglect of personal appearance
Some Links for more information and for support:
http//www.withonevoice.com......WITH ONE VOICE
http//members.aol.com/wnichhint/suicide.html......GATEWAY TO PEACE
IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE OR YOU YOURSELF ARE THINKING OF SUICIDE PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT IT IS A CHOICE THAT ONCE TAKEN THERE MOST LIKELY IS NO WAY OF TURNING BACK. IF YOU NEED TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE CALL...1-800-SUICIDE. REACH OUT- THERE IS HELP AND SUPPORT.
Shelley L. Moss